wah wah

I've been in a funk all day. I guess that's what happens when you lay around the house all day in your pajamas. Or maybe pajamas are a result of the funk. Well, in any case, it's one of those all too common grey, depressing Wisconsin fall days. I had meant to get up and go for a ten mile run this morning, but instead I ate candy and watched TV. Then my husband left for work, and I sort of just stared off into space on the couch. I tried to nap, but I couldn't relax. I tried to read, but I couldn't focus (also hard to do with a cat clinging to your chest).

Then I realized I had a choice: I could sit around and feel like crap, or I could go for a run and feel better. So even though it seemed like the least enjoyable thing to do, running was better than doing nothing. I got my stuff on, and off I went. I ran an out and back route, where the turnaround is right at the peak of a gigantic hill. Right around there is when I realized that this run was SUCKING. My pace felt comfortable, but I was exhausted and a little dizzy. I finished up with negative splits and a good pace (9:55/mi), but there were no endorphins to make me say, "Yay!" Or perhaps there were endorphins, but just not enough to cover up how crappy the run was.

Luckily bad runs like these are few and far between. I'm hoping it means that I'm coming down with a bug, because the alternative (the "I've lost a crap ton of fitness in the 6 weeks since my marathon, and running just 6 miles kicks my butt" alternative) is scary.

So today is still depressing. Running didn't make me feel much better. But it got me out for a little while, and sometimes that's all you can ask of it.